Sacrifice

Yesterday was Qurban--the Festival of Sacrifice--in the Muslim world. It is a day to remember the sacrifice that Abraham made on Mount Moriah. Islam teaches that it was Ishmael, not Isaac, that was placed on the altar that day.

The idea of a substitutionary sacrifice--whether the death of a ram in Isaac's place or the death of Jesus Christ in our place--has no acceptance in Muslim theology. It is all about works.

We were out yesterday to take Hannah Grace to the doctor, and passed herd after herd of sheep being prepared for slaughter. Those who can afford it are expected to purchase a sheep and have it butchered. They must then share a portion of the meat with those who are too poor to buy their own.

One prominent cleric was lamenting the fact that most people in this country have lost "the essence of Qurban". For them, it's a day of feasting. For butchers, it's a day of price gouging. Few people take time to remember the "real meaning" of this holiday. Sound familiar?

As believers, of course, we would love to help them understand the true essence of Sacrifice. In many parts of the Muslim world yesterday, the streets ran red with the blood of sacrificial sheep. Needlessly.

More About Marriage Part 2

Recently I wrote about my friend and her brother. The brother hoped to marry a young woman but the mother objected and was forcing her to marry someone else. Last week, when my friend told me that her brother had "kidnapped" the young woman, I wasn't entirely surprised. Because he did it on the day of the forced engagement party, I was surprised that there wasn't any violence. Honor killings aren't unheard of around here, either.

My friend was very upset. Although this sort of kidnapping--bride snatching-- could almost be called an elopement, it's a shameful thing. Another friend once told me that the family of the girl often disowns her after a kidnapping. In essence, the couple lives together until a wedding can take place. Think how the Bennett family reacts in Austin's Pride and Prejudice to Lydia's elopement. That's probably a pretty close analogy to how families here react.

Attitudes toward marriage are certainly changing: divorce is becoming more common, arranged marriages are less common. Still, in a traditional family, refusing to heed a parent's wishes about marriage is no small issue.

This event raises some interesting questions for believers here. How does the church minister to this family? How does it help bring the young couple to a point of restoration. . .if the relationship with her family can ever be restored at all? How does the church make it clear to the surrounding community that it doesn't condone this behavior, especially in a culture where followers of Jesus are already under great suspicion?

More About Marriage

Marriage is so important to any culture, and it's one of the things I enjoy learning about as we live here. So many things are completely different from our way of viewing marriage, that it would probably take me years to learn all there is to know.

This morning a friend asked me to pray for her brother. For some time now he has been interested in marrying a particular girl. My friend and her brother are believers; the girl in question is not, but said that she would accept Christ when she came to live with their family. (I won't get off onto the subject of unequally yoked marriages here.) The girl's mother apparently found this out and has not only revoked the engagement, but is forcing the girl to marry someone else. My friend's house is in an uproar, and the girl is threatening to commit suicide.

Some months ago, we organized a marriage seminar for our coworkers. Although it was good material for all of us personally, our real goal was to equip ourselves to address the incredible need for Christ-honoring marriages and families among local believers. So far, we have had very little opportunity to present this material to our local brothers and sisters. Please pray that things will come into place: translation of the material, opportunities to work with individual couples, and openings to train leaders of local assemblies to help their congregations.

Another Wedding

For those of you who receive Randy's newsletter, you know that "Allen" has been one of our closest friends during our six years in Central Asia. We have shared holidays together, both ours and theirs. We have shared many meals together along with a lot of laughter. We have shared our faith, with no visible results. For a long time, we have looked forward to sharing Allen's wedding day. In the current economy, it is difficult to get married, so it has been a long wait. At last, the day finally came!

Allen and his wife are distant relatives, which is common. Theirs is an arranged marriage, worked out by the parents, which is also quite common. They are living with his mother and grandmother, again very common. His new wife has lived in Russia for some time, so she will be facing more than just the usual adjustment to life with a new husband and a new mother.

As always, there was quite a spread on the tables. I don't know if someone from the family warned our waiters, but they knew that we wouldn't be drinking any alcohol. They cleared away the shot glasses and most of the bottles for us so we could enjoy our cherry juice without any unnecessary dishes cluttering up our table.

Kevin and Randy took this close-up of the relish tray for a reason. Can you see the smiley face pickle?



Since this wedding was a special one for us, we stayed almost until the end. One of the most interesting parts of a local wedding is the very last course of the meal. The emcee announces, "Dear guests, the pilaf has come to our gathering!" The lights are dimmed down to just candles, and a young couple dressed in traditional clothing brings in a large dish of flaming pilaf. They set it down in front of the bride and groom, then perform a traditional dance.


Rice pilaf with chestnuts, raisins, dried fruits, and lamb, all dripping with melted butter, is the ultimate in hospitality. The more butter, the better. Ours was absolutely swimming in butter, and it was delicious!

No eastern wedding would be considered complete without live music and dancing. This wedding had mostly traditional dancing with a few "youth dances" thrown in. The poor guy singing for the youth dance obviously didn't know enough English to understand himself, or he would never have sung what he did! Here is a group of women dancing in the more traditional style.


A couple of weeks after the wedding, I got a late night phone call from Allen's mother. She was very excited and it took me a minute to understand everything she was saying, but it turns out that many families have a private party the day after the wedding. They hadn't been able to do that, so they were having a delayed "See the Bride Party". No men allowed. She was very clear that only Julie and I could go. It's a chance for close friends and family to--see the bride. I'm curious about this traditional and look forward to finding out more about it, but Julie and I did go to see the bride! I wasn't sure what we were getting into, but it turned out to be a luncheon party. Of course, we ate; we danced, because you can't be happy and not dance here. Then, to my horror, we had to make speeches for a video!! I wasn't totally unprepared, because this culture is into speaking blessings. I just wasn't expecting a video. I had spent some time earlier in the day reading over 1 Corinthians 13 in the local language so that I could share some of what Scripture says about real love. Please pray that the few words that I said would take root, that Allen and his bride would realize their need for the only true God who can give them love that never fails.




Julie and me at the See the Bride Party with Allen's aunt and cousin

Wedding Pictures

It has taken a month, but I finally scanned pictures from Andy and Emerald's wedding to share with you.


Weddings here are a feast! When guests arrive, the tables are already covered with salads, fresh greens, cheeses, bread, and drinks. (Just for the record, we always stick with juice and water although there is generally a liberal supply of vodka for the men!) After everyone has had time to enjoy the salads, waiters begin bringing out kebabs--chicken, lamb, beef, ground lamb patties, fish, liver, and potato.

At some point the bride and groom arrive with a great deal of fanfare. The groom will have gone to the bride's home earlier in the day along with his family and closest friends. A small band of three or four musicians accompanies him, so the entire neighborhood knows when the bride is about to come out of her house. The entire wedding party then heads out for pictures in a local park, and then on to the "wedding palace", as it is called.

Once they arrive, the party begins. There are many speeches made by friends and family as well as lots of music and dancing. At some point during the evening, each party of guests has a picture made at the head table with the bride and groom. Traditionally, the bride does not speak to guests, but exceptions have been made in the case of ignorant foreigners such as ourselves!


In case you're wondering why the bride isn't wearing white, it is because this wedding was the first of two. Unless there are severe financial problems, there is a "boy wedding", hosted by the groom's family and a "girl wedding", hosted by the bride's family. We attended the bride's wedding since it was held closer to where we live. At the groom's wedding the bride does wear white, with a red ribbon tied around her waist. At that point, they are officially married, the bride takes her husband's name and goes to live with him and his parents.

We've been to several weddings here, but saw yet one more tradition that we hadn't come across before--at least not at a wedding. People here are very superstitious, and there are tons of "lucky" charms ranging from horseshoes to evil eye talismans. There is also a dried flower that some people put in their cars and homes to ward off bad luck. I had been told (but had never seen it done) some people burn this weed and carry the smoke through their house after having visitors. The purpose is to purge out any jealousy that the guests may have harbored after seeing your beautiful home and lovely possessions. After all, the root behind the evil eye in this belief system is jealousy. At any rate, a waiter brought a tray of burning weeds to each table and waved it around the guests. Many people gave tips, I suppose to make the good luck more potent. It was quite bizarre for us foreigners, and especially for the newcomers who weren't familiar with the depth of superstition in this culture.

As always, please lift up Andy and Emerald. It has been such a long time with no sign of any hope or change. It can be a struggle for me to continue praying, yet I'm constantly reminded of Epaphras. Paul told the Philippians that he labored earnestly day and night praying for the young believers there.

Thank you for praying for us and remembering the work here.

Growing Boys and Muslim Fashions

Every mother of teenage boys has experienced the stress of pants that "shrink". It seems like the hems of their jeans are perpetually about an inch too short. Yesterday Kevin had an experience that adds a whole new layer of stress. I had sent him to the store for some groceries, and while he was there the security guard stopped him and began asking him questions. When he realized that Kevin was American, he told him to be sure not to wear pants that length any more. The reason? He looked too much like a Wahabbi with his pants hem just above his ankles. Personally, I don't think a blond-headed teenager looks like a terrorist just because he outgrew his pants too quickly, but we'll pass the jeans along anyway to avoid any more encounters with security guards.

This past week was a very busy one for me. Our team ladies were honored with a visit from the wives of three of our regional leaders. We had a great time visiting, sharing meals, and enjoying a little time out and about the city.

Wednesday, a couple of the ladies and I shared a taxi for the ride home. The driver was friendly and had plenty of questions. When he found out that I actually live here, he began with the usual questions about whether we like it here and how long we plan to stay. I replied that we expect to be here two more years, and then we'll spend some time in the US before coming back. He said, "Oh, you shouldn't go back to the US. Things are pretty bad there, plus there's a new president and you never know what a new president might do. You need to try to stay here instead."

I suppose his comment means that he'll be voting "yes" in the upcoming referendum to abolish presidential term limits.

The need for better proofreaders. . .

I read the local language online paper for information, and the locally written English language online paper for entertainment. Here is an actual quote from a couple of weeks ago: "It is currently unclear whose residuals are absent in the grave." After reading the entire article multiple times, it seems that a memorial cemetery is being removed to make way for a new park. However, when the city began the process of exhuming the bodies, some were missing. The quote should read: "It is currently unclear whose remains are missing from the grave."

Temptation

I wasn't really tempted to close the washer. . .honest. . .

Medical Concerns

As you may have realized from previous posts, medical care where we live isn't always the greatest in the world. There are several reasons for this, not the least of which is corruption in the education system. (More about that in a future post.)

Two weeks ago, the young woman who helps out around the house called and said that she wouldn't be able to come in the next day. She had stepped on a rusty nail a few days earlier, and her foot was swollen, hot and red. I asked her if she had been to the doctor. As I continued to ask questions, I realized that she had never heard of tetanus. It had never occurred to her that she needed to see a doctor. Even after I begged her to see a doctor, she insisted on treating the wound at home. I'm very thankful that God, in His goodness, healed her foot. At the same time, I was very troubled at how something that for us is so simple could have had a far worse result.

Like many places, home remedies are very popular around here. My guess is that vodka is the most widely-used remedy. In addition to drinking it, many people use it like we would use rubbing alcohol. Bear fat is not uncommon as an ointment. During the summer, burying yourself up to the neck in sand at the beach for the healing effects of salt and minerals is especially popular.

The most unusual home remedy I've been told about left me speechless, however. I had to ask several times to make sure I was really and truly understanding correctly. Although it isn't common, it is possible to go to the pharmacy and buy a leech. Yes, a leech, as in bloodletting. Getting rid of the bad blood so the good blood can increase.

In spite of the availability of leeches, not all medical care here is reminiscent of the 18th century. Still, the difference between East and West stands out in the area of medicine.

Head Coverings

Yesterday I was able to have the stitches taken out of my scalp. I think I'll be wearing a scarf for a while. My Pentecostal friend, whose church requires women to keep their heads covered, will think I've converted.

Head coverings here can mean any number of things. Obviously, women from devout Muslim families keep their heads covered. There are several different looks, depending on which branch the woman adheres to. The Sunni women usually have very beautiful, colorful scarves arranged very elaborately. On occasion we see women wearing head-to-toe coverings, usually foreigners from neighboring countries. Then there's the babushka look, usually sported by very large, elderly ladies: dark brown, black or dark blue kerchiefs. Some ethnic groups have their own distinct style of head coverings. My Pentecostal friend is often mistaken for ethnic Chechnyan because of the way she arranges her scarf. The downside to that is that she's invariably subjected to a police search whenever she rides the subway. There's a general suspicion that Chechnyan women might have explosives hidden under their head covering. And then, there's one of the more common head coverings. Three or four days without water means a bad hair day. The young women here are generally very beautiful, and quite vain. A nice scarf looks a lot better than dirty hair!

Culture and Bible Stories

Quite a few weeks ago I was talking with a local believer. She was going through a difficult time in her marriage--and still is--and wanted some advice from Scripture. At one point she mentioned that she had never understood why Ruth was held up as someone special. My friend thought that Naomi was the more amazing character in the story. Later, I thought about what she had said and why she would think that way.

Marriage in this culture is between a woman and the husband's family. I cannot begin to count the number of times I have heard a mother-in-law talk about "my bride"--not "my son's bride"! In many ways, the relationship between mother-in-law and bride is the fundamental relationship in the family. Sadly, it is not uncommon for the young bride to be little more than servant to the mother-in-law. One elderly woman, an unbeliever, once told me that her son was an excellent son. When he married, he laid down the law and let his wife know that his mother was the boss and that if she didn't do what his mother said he would knock her head off.

It took me a long time to sort out the relationships in the very first family we met. They were our landlords and lived next door; we knew none of the language and they knew no English. There was a grandmother, a young mother and two sons. As I began to learn the language, I discovered that the mother was a widow, and that she was daughter-in-law to the grandmother. Living next door, we were well aware that there was a lot of arguing and yelling, so it really surprised me that this very young widow would continue to live with her mother-in-law when it was obvious that they weren't the best of friends.

In this culture, however, it was the most natural of situations. The young woman had married into that family. She left her family and was now bound to her in-laws, widow or not. She was obligated to stay.

My believer friend is currently separated from her husband. Where does she live? With her in-laws. Her husband is the one staying some place else. It's a painfully difficult situation for my friend, since she's living in a house full of people who are very angry with her.

And that is the background for how my friend views the story of Ruth. Of course Ruth stuck with Naomi. The shocking part of the story is that Naomi would allow Ruth to remarry. Not understanding the Jewish culture, people here are amazed at Naomi's selflessness and generosity.

The Bible means what it means, and I don't believe that meaning changes in different cultures. However, this conversation reminded me that I must understand the way people here think. Not only that, but I have to be on guard against understanding Scripture wrongly based on my own western background and culture.

Pray with us that we will be able to understand more and more fully the culture that we live in and how to present God's truth to people here.

Funeral Traditions

Wednesday evening a family in the building across from us put up a funeral tent. Since we live in different buildings we've never had opportunity to meet, so of course we didn't go to the funeral. It has been interesting, however, to be able to watch up close as outsiders since the funeral has been going on right under our kitchen window.

Funerals here are totally different from anything we Westerners are familiar with. There is no funeral home or church; everything except for the burial is conducted right in the front yard.

Here are a few things we've learned about the customs surrounding death during our years here:

• The tent will be up for three days, and then will go up again on the seventh day, the fortieth day, and on the first anniversary of death. The ground inside the tent is covered with carpets, and occasionally the sides are also hung with carpets. Tables and chairs are set up for meals in the tent.
• Funerals are segregated. Only men go into the tent, while the women congregate in the house. Typically, women cover their heads with a scarf whether they are religious or not. There is also a men's visiting day and a women's visiting day, although both are present on the day of burial.
• The bereaved are expected to wait on the guests, not the other way around. Hot tea is served around the clock, and there are several large meals provided for guests during the week. One of the traditional dishes is called halva, a dessert made with flour and sugar cooked in butter. I have been told that it gives those who are sick or in mourning extra strength.
• Although the family is responsible for cooking and serving the meals, guests will often bring gifts of rice, sugar cubes and candy to help out with the cost.
• Islam requires that the burial take place within 24 hours of death. The body is placed on a canopy-covered stretcher and carried to the cemetary. Only men are allowed to be present at the burial.
• A mullah (the Muslim equivalent of a Christian pastor) reads from the Quran, speaks for a few minutes, and sings. I couldn't hear all of this particular sermonette, but the little I did catch seemed to be about the inevitability of death. Every so often the mourners wipe one hand down the front of their face as a sign of grief while the mullah speaks.

Thankfully, we have not yet had the experience of attending the funeral of a close friend. Even watching this funeral of someone I've never met from my kitchen window, I was struck with the absolute hopelessness of those people's grief. There are so many people we know that are still without hope for the next life, and death brings that truth to the surface.

Please pray for our friends and neighbors here to come to the knowledge of Christ so that they "will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope." (1 Thessalonians 4:13)

Land of the Free

Living here, we occasionally see and hear things that make us thankful for the freedom we enjoy in the United States. A couple of weeks ago I heard about an incident that served to remind me once again that we are not living in a free country. Our children's language tutor came in one day and told me that she had been detained by the police the day before. The reason? She was taking pictures. They set her in the back of the police car and drove to a different location where a plainclothes officer got in and began questioning her. She confessed to me that she lied about her job since she was afraid to admit to the police that she works for foreigners, even if it is just as a children's tutor. They finally let her go after destroying the pictures on her camera, along with a stern warning to only take pictures at approved tourist sites.

Pray for those around us, and for the many people around the world who don't know political and religious freedom. Don't just pray that worldly governments would become democratic. Pray that these people would experience a spiritual freedom in Christ that transcends their physical situation.

Week of Fire

Last Tuesday was the third week before the Persian New Year, the night when people set bonfires and jump over them--after they've died down a little. There will be more fires on the 20th and 21st, when spring officially begins. This photo is of the courtyard for our apartment building.

There is a lot of superstition and fortune telling that goes on during this time of year. One of the most popular methods is to hide near their neighbor's door and eavesdrop. The first thing that they hear foretells their luck for the year.

Ironically enough, we had a minor fire in our apartment this week. Randy and I both woke up during the middle of the night because of a loud noise. A few minutes later we smelled smoke and discovered that our hot water heater was burning. We were very thankful that God protected us, and that we were able to get the problem fixed easily.

Ashura

Our next door neighbor brought by a gift of lentil, bean and corn stew today. Her explanation was that today is the anniversary of their imam's death. I had totally forgotten about it, partly because the Islamic calendar is lunar, which means that the dates of religious holidays are different every year.

Today is important for Shia Muslims as they commemorate Ashura, the death of Imam Hussein over 1000 years ago. Many devout men will go to the mosque and beat themselves with chains until they shed blood, to demonstrate their grief.

The significance of this date is that it marks the split of Islam between Shia and Sunni, an event that still has great impact on world events. Much of the violence that you read about in Iraq today has its roots in the death of Imam Hussein and the division of the Islamic world.

May God open their hearts to the One who died so that they can be reconciled to Him.

One interesting side note: an acquaintance of mine who is not a practicing Muslim told me that the stew actually originated with Noah. There is an old tradition predating Islam that when Noah and his family left the ark and came down Ararat, they only had a handful of dried food remaining--lentils, peas, beans, and corn.

Christmas, New Year's and Astrology

Every year, we have the same conversation with our newest friends and acquaintances. "Why do Americans celebrate New Year's Day on December 25th?" They see our Christmas tree and decorations, which look very similar to their New Year's tree, and get a little confused. Of course, we're happy to explain that we aren't celebrating the New Year, but the birth of Jesus Christ.

The celebration of New Year's Day on January 1st was introduced here by the Soviets. Although I've never seen anything that would officially confirm this, my guess is that the Communists encouraged a huge celebration of the New Year to replace the Russian Orthodox celebration of Christmas. Santa Claus, decorations, trees, lights, and a feast are all part of the New Year tradition here.

Since this is the crossroads where east meets west, there are also some deeply-rooted eastern traditions that are important at this time of year. Over the last week, Julie and Hannah Grace have been given several stuffed mice. Why? Chinese astrology is a major part of the celebration here, and this is the year of the rat.

This morning I saw an interesting headline in the newspaper that underlined the incredible foothold that astrology has in this part of the world:

"Children born during the Year of the Rat to mothers who were born during the Year of the Cat will have problems."

May God open their eyes to His word in Isaiah 40:26,
Lift up your eyes on high
And see who has created these stars,
The One who leads forth their host by number,
He calls them all by name;
Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power,
Not one of them is missing.

Be Thankful for Your Mattress--Making the Bed Takes on New Meaning

We've reached the hottest month of the year, and all of the women are taking advantage of the weather to wash rugs and beds. Every day one or two ladies carry their freshly washed Persian carpets out to dry on the playground equipment, or they stake a claim to part of the yard to clean their bedding. I doubt anybody in the US has had to do anything quite like this in recent years.

The first step in washing the bed is to empty the "mattress" of its stuffing, sheep wool, and wash it. A large spot in the yard must be swept clean, and the wet wool is carried out on a large piece of plastic or a sheet. The ladies spread it out and then proceed to whip it with a thin rod.

Next, it is left to dry for a few hours. Some ladies leave, but others seem to be concerned that something could happen and sit out there all afternoon, watching the wool carefully.

Finally, comes time to make the bed. All of that wool has to be stuffed back into the mattress.

The last step is to take what looks like a huge sack of wool is sewn into a beautiful, neat mattress.

Needless to say, this is an incredibly difficult and time consuming process. I'm very thankful for our western-style mattresses!

One morning last week I was commenting to one of my neighbors that we don't have the this tradition in the US. She looked at me kind of oddly and said in an incredulous tone, "Oh, do you just throw away your mattresses every year?"